Pre-Fab Political Ads

But they seem so real!

Terrorist Fist Jab

Ah, Fox News. From "fair and balanced" to "fairly balanced" to "let's find new and creative ways to get the words 'terrorist' and 'Obama' in the same soundbite" balanced.

The lead-in: "A fist bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab? ... We'll show you some interesting body communication and find out what it really says."

I, for one, can get behind this. It's about time a new sensation swept the nation (while covertly communicating terrorist leanings with others). I hereby petition all responsible readers of YST to strike the terms "dap," "fist bump," and "that thing Tom does" from the lexicon. It's "terrorist fist jab" from here on out.

Weaponization of Space: Boom In A Vaccuum.

On my way into work, I listened to this [lame] radio program on weaponization of space [wiki]. I wonder what is good policy? Some key issues:

• Why do we need it? China blew up its own satellite [good article] last year and the US followed suit [good "article"] this year. We can clearly blow stuff up in space. A relatively cheap cruise missile can hit any point on earth. Isn't there a land-based missile shield already going up in the US and Poland? Can't we pretty much do everything we want already?
  
• Is it inevitable? [pdf] What do Star Wars, Star Trek, and Battle Star Galactica teach us? Exactly! Weapons in space are useless without attractive women in space--the so-called Guns-n-Babes Theorem. [babes] They also teach us that the future revolves around weapons in space.
  
• If maintaining America's status as the sole superpower is taken as a given (a separate decision), is that best accomplished by embracing a weaponization program that could begin an arms race we may or may not win? That may or may not damage the economy? Or is it better to discourage weaponization because, more than any other nation, our military and much of our economy are dependent on vulnerable space assets?
• Do you enter into arms control treaties that cannot be enforced? How do you inspect space weapons? How do you deal with dual use technologies--small "communications" satellites that are really kinetic kill vehicles?

Mr. President, we have a situation...

I must admit, Hillary Clinton's red phone ad had its intended effect on me. As I watched that ad, nagging feelings of doubt rose within me, serious doubts about Barack Obama which I realized I had been suppressing for far too long. Was he really ready to answer that phone, and deal with the crisis which so menacingly threatens the six children I didn't even know I had? Was he truly the him I had been waiting for?

Or is it the principled, capable, and downright reassuring David Palmer I've been thinking of all along? I know I want him answering that phone, and I know who I want him to contact next. I can even safely assume the situation will be resolved one way or another within 24 hours. And how!

Their similarities are slightly more than superficial, so we could pretend to have a serious discussion on a number of fronts, including television's role in preparing the nation for a black or a female president. Feel free to do so in the comments. (It is, I know, hardly an original concept. I do promise it occurred to me before I saw this, or this. Or even this. And my graphic is better.)